Snow Globe Devotional

Photo Credit: Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz 'Travellers' series.

 

 As a child, I had a facination with snow globes. I had an entire collection…some with carousel horses, some with clowns, and even some with entire villages crafted inside the little glass bubble. I used to love to shake them and watch the snow fall where it may. I would wind up their little music boxes and listen to their melodies play for hours on end. I only have one now and it sits on my desk in my office. It is a replica of old Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati. It has red and black “snow” that falls down around the stadium when shook and plays “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”    

 The snow globe caught my eye tonight as I sat at the computer, stressing over all life has thrown my way this week. As I turned it over and watched the little specks of glitter float effortlessly down upon the unaffected stadium, it reminded me of the many blessings that God rains down upon us. How often we stand, like the stadium, completely unaffected by the showering of God’s love and mercy. How often we let God’s gifts go unnoticed and unappreciated. How often we consume our minds and hearts with worry, stress, and fear instead of filling ourselves with all God has to offer.     

 What does the Bible say about anxiety, stress and fear?     

Philippians 4:6-7
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.     

Matthew 6:31-33
31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.     

1 Peter 5:7
7Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.     

Isaiah 41:10
10So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.     

 Our God is such an amazing and gracious god. Rejoice in his love and mercy, instead of succumbing to the pressures of an unforgiving world. His blessings are abundant! Scoop them up and let them pour out of you and onto others. Give your fear and apprehensions to the Lord. He knows what you need, and, if you trust in Him, he will provide abundantly. Be thankful for the blessings rained down upon you and share them with others. Do not stand unaffected like the stadium in the snow globe. Instead, be like the snow and float effortlessly through life, knowing God is with you always.

Charitable Giving Update

I was blessed to be able to respond to Jesus’ call to give these last couple weeks, and I ended up donating more than I had originally planned!

My first donation was made to Brooklawn Child & Family Services in Louisville, KY. The organization was brought to my attention through a blog comment from a friend. Brooklawn is a psychiatric residential treatment facility for children. You can find more information about them, as well as how to make a donation, at http://www.brooklawn.net.

My second donation was in response to a woman’s plea for help at my church. Fasica Christine Shiferaw, an Ethiopean native, has a dream of opening a boarding school for Ethiopean Orphans who parents have died of AIDS or Malaria. She is currently seeking donations to secure the land in which the school will be built. You can learn more about Fasica Christine’s mission at http://fcethiopianorphans.org/MISSION.html.

Third, in response to the tragedy in Haiti, I have made multiple donations to different organizations that have been brought before me by numerous people. First, I was able to give to the Red Cross by simply texting the word HAITI to 90999. Donating was quick and easy, and the money is simply added to my phone bill at the end of the month. This is by far the easiest way I have heard to donate so far. Second, through a collection at my church, I was able to give to Catholic Relief Services. CRS has been in Haiti for the past 50 years and has pledged to raise $5 million dollars for earthquake relief. For more information, or to help them reach their goal, please visit http://www.crs.org. Third, I was inspired to donate to CARE due to a post on a blog I follow, What’s Next God (http://www.whatsnextgod.wordpress.com). CARE particularly spoke to me, as they believe in empowering women to promote change. You can learn more about their efforts at http://www.care.org.

Lastly, I was able to donate to my church’s building campaign.  St. Peter Claver is extremely important to not only myself, but also to the entire Lexington diocese.  As the only African-American Catholic church in the area, St. Peter Claver promotes an environment of diversity, acceptance, love and respect for all its members.  Donating to the building campaign was a huge leap of faith for me, because essentially you pledge to contribute a substantial amount of money over the course of the next five years, with 10% down, and quarterly payments following.  I was initially resistant to make such a commitment, but I turned it over to God in prayer and felt led to give something back to the church family that has given so much to me in such a short period of time.  For more information about St. Peter Claver, please visit http://home.catholicweb.com/stpeterclaver/index.cfm.

I look forward to seeing where I am going to be called to give over the next couple weeks as I close out the first month of this year long challenge. If you have an organization that speaks to your heart that you would like me to support, please let me know. The goal of this challenge is not only for me to give more of my personal resources, but also to educate and inspire others, and raise awareness of different organizations that are doing God’s work.

Book Review: Becoming Who You Are

Underneath the fear and self-doubt, the guilt of past mistakes, the hurt of love lost, down to the very core of a human being, you will find their soul.  It is their essence.  It is what Thomas Merton named a person’s ”true self.”  It is through the writings of Merton, Henri Nouwen, Mother Teresa, and other saints that James Martin finds courage to transform his life from corporate America to the Jesuit order to discover his own “true self.”  Martin’s book, Becoming Who You Are:  Insights on the True Self from Thomas Merton and Other Saints is less of a guide on how to find your true self, but more of a meditation on what it means to be (insert whatever you want to be here). 

At first glance, I expected this book to be about discovering your occupation, but as I read, I realize I am more than an accountant.  I am fabulous!  I have a friend who is terrific.  An important thing to take note of is I am not using words like “fabulous” and “terrific” to describe how we feel.  I am using them to describe how we define ourselves.  The difference is I am fabulous even when I am frustrated.  My friend is terrific, even when he is confused.  How can we just choose what we want to be?  Bob Lax, Thomas Merton’s good friend, explains it best with the following statement:  “All that is necessary to be a saint is to want to be one.  Don’t you believe God will make you what He created you to be, if you consent to Him to do it?  All you have to do is desire it.” 

Does this mean that all we have to do is desire something and we become it?  Hardly, as I am quite certain that no amount of desire is going to make me a professional tennis player any time soon!  Martin writes, “God awakens our vocations primarily through our desires.  A man and a woman, for example, come together in love out of desire and so discover their vocation as a married couple.”  Notice he did not say “solely through our desire!”  There are many other factors that go into it is well, such as availability, openness, and direction from God.

Honesty, though, plays a huge role in defining and finding your true self.  Martin explains, “The false self is the person we present to the world, the one we think will be pleasing to others:  attractive, confident, successful.  The true self, on the other hand, is the person we are before God.  Sanctity consists in discovering who that person is and striving to become that person…The more we live out our true selves, and the more we become the person whom God intended, the more we see the spectacular efforts of a well-lived vocation.”  Martin uses a quote from Henri Nouwen to take his point one step further:  “Honesty before God and others deepens your relationship with God, and therefore your prayer.  Likewise, a deepening intimacy with God frees you to be honest with yourself and with others.”

It is through this honesty that we are able to explore and rejoice in the diversity among us.  That is, none of us have the same same two gifts.  Martin says, “All of us brings something unique to the table, and, through our own gifts, we each manifest a personal way of holiness that enliven the larger community.”  Mother Teresa put it even more simply in one of her most famous quotes:  “You can do something I cannot do.  I can do something you cannot do.  Together let us do something beautiful for God.”  If you need even further clarification, check out 1 Corinthians 12:4-11.  I think it speaks for itself.

Satan thrives on diversity, however, and attacks our minds and hearts through judgments and comparisons.  Envy, pride, insecurity, and self-doubt are just a few results from comparing oneself to another.  But isn’t it almost second nature to compare and judge?  I am guilt of this, and I would imagine I would be hard pressed to find anyone who can say they aren’t as well.  We cast judgment on others every day and on ourselves as well.  Thoughts ranging from “I wish I were as skinny as that person” to “I’m a better Christian than this person” cause us to define our self-worth not from the eyes of God, but from those of this earth. 

In analyzing his own struggle with judgment and comparison, Martin comes to the conclusion: “The tendency to make false comparisons is unhealthy because it also leads us away from the true self, and encourages us to be someone else, someone whom God did not create.”  He goes on to say, “This is not to say that one cannot admire good and holy people and desire to emulate them in some way….But, when we think that we have to become them in order to be holy, we are denying the person whom God has created.”

Defining self-worth and gaining self-acceptance is key to finding your “true self,” however it is not always an easy thing to do.  Martin suggests the way “one is freed from this spiritual prison” is through gratitude.  The idea of being grateful for the gifts God has given each of us, as well as being thankful for those of others, spoke to me throughout this book.  This book made me realize that I spend most of my time and energy focused on what I do not have, instead of being thankful for what I do.  In relation to this, I often find myself more consumed with what others think of me, than with what I actually think of myself, or contemplating on what God must think of me.  It is also probably one of the reasons I found it so difficult to write this blog.

My 30-Day Challenge:  Over the course of the next 30 days, I will maintain a list of what I am grateful for each day, focusing on my own attributes, as well as those around me whom I admire.  As I intentionally focus on reasons to be thankful, I will compile a list of both my positive and negative personality traits.  This list will serve as an “honesty check” to make me more conscious of if the person I am portraying to the world is the same woman I am before God.

2010 Handbook

I recently received this email forward from my mom.  I usually delete forwards without reading, but this one caught my attention so I thought I’d post it.  Enjoy!

Health:
1.       Drink plenty of water.
2.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4.       Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5.       Make time to pray.
6.       Play more games
7.       Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8.       Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9.       Sleep for 7 hours..
10.     Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11.    Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12.    Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.    Don’t over-do. Keep your limits.
14.    Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15.    Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16.    Dream more while you are awake
17.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18.    Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20.   Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.  Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23.    Smile and laugh more.
24.    You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree…

Society:
25.    Call your family often.
26.    Each day give something good to others.
27.    Forgive everyone for everything..
28.    Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of  6.
29.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
31.    Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32.    Do the right thing!
33.    Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34.    GOD heals everything.
35.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37.    The best is yet to come..
38.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39.    Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40.    Live with peace.

Charitable Giving Inspired by Crazy Love

I read a startling fact last night that said Americans gave approximately $300 billion dollars to charitable organizations last year, while Walmart had $404 billion dollars in revenue for the same time period. The statistics go on to show, “those who earn less than $20,000 become twice as charitable as those who earn $100,000, even though they donate one-fourth as much.” In other words, “when calculated as a percentage of income, the neediest become the most charitable.” Breathe that in for a minute. Read it again if you need to. Crazy, isn’t it??

It reminds me of the story of the poor widow’s offering in Luke, Chapter 21:  1As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins, 3“I tell you the truth,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” Pretty inspiring, isn’t it?

The craziest thing about the statistics is not the numbers, but the most common reason given for upper income people not giving…“They can’t afford it.” Wow. At first this shocked me, and then a reality began to set in…I am guilty of this as well. I have been blessed with a good job that provides me with financial stability. I know how fortunate I am, yet how do I praise God for his generosity? I complain about my job, instead of being grateful to have one. I stress about bills, instead of being thankful to have heat, electricity, and clean water. I create goals to encourage saving, instead of devising ways in which to share it. I spent frivolously on my home, yet cringe at giving to those who may not have one. When I do give, I admit, I often feel remorse afterward and wonder if I too “can afford it.”

Giving generously is one topic discussed in Frances Chan’s book, Crazy Love. Chan, himself, downsized his home in order to be able to give more freely. He poses the question of trust in the Lord in relation to giving. Chan writes, “Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” Basically instead of wondering if we can afford it, as Christians we should be asking ourselves if we can afford NOT to do it. If we really truly believe that God will take care of us, then what is holding us back?

We often use the phrase “You can’t take it with you” to justify frivolous expenditures….that new car, the expensive pair of jeans, that shopping spree, the list goes on and on. We all know it is true that you can’t take money with you when you die, but what you do take with you is what you did with it. I don’t know about you, but when God and I are chatting about what I did with my life, I’d sure rather tell him about all the ways I was able to share His gifts He gave me than to list all the junk I bought at Walmart!

So how am I going to apply Crazy Love to my life? Charitable giving is so important to God that, according to WikiAnswers, the word “poor” is mentioned 178 times in the Bible. 178 times! Isn’t something important worth repeating? This is not going to be a 30 day project. I have decided that I am going to donate a portion of each paycheck over the course of the year to a different charity. Which charities receive the money is up to you…and God. If you have an organization that touches your heart, let me know, and on my next pay date, that organization will receive the money. It’s as easy as that. Each time a donation is made, I will post where the money went in hopes to raise awareness and possibly encourage others. The goal is to help as many people as possible and to share God’s love and joy. Thank you for helping me help others.

Book Review: Crazy Love by Francis Chan

What do you do when you are in love? Do you obsess over thinking of the person? Count down the minutes until you see them again? Wait by the phone in anticipation just to hear their voice? Tattoo the person’s name somewhere on your body to show the world you are spoken for? These examples may be a little extreme, but, metaphorically speaking, that is exactly what Francis Chan encourages readers to do in his book, Crazy Love.

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God, is absolutely amazing in a magnificent, challenging, hard-core way. Chan instills in his readers a sense of urgency and passion in falling head-over-heels in love with Jesus, while reminding them of the awesome greatness of our Lord. The revelation is so powerful; it attacks everything I thought I knew about loving and trusting God and awakens a new desire to grow even more intimate in my love of Christ.

I’m not going to sugar coat it…this book is difficult, and if it’s not for you, maybe you are missing the point. Chan says himself, “This book is written for those who want more Jesus. It is for those who are bored with what American Christianity offers. It is for those who don’t want to plateau, who would rather die before their convictions do.” If that doesn’t sound like you, stop reading this now.

Personally, my first instinct when reading was to become hardened, closed off, and defensive. Every time I caught myself shutting down, I would stop and pray. At first read, it appears Chan is suggesting that unless you do something that society would view as “crazy” or “radical” then you are simply mediocre and not worthy of God’s promise of eternal life in Heaven. See why one could jump on the defense here? Bottom Line: The book is supposed to be challenging, so breathe it in!

In preparation to write this review, I read some others on Amazon.com, both positive and negative, and all filled with very good points. This book, for me, was very controversial. My suggestion: Read this book. Stop, pray, process, and then read this book again. Formulate your own opinion as it applies to your life, your situation, and your personal relationship with Jesus.

Check out my next read, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul here.

Name It, Claim It, Dump It!

Sometimes life is just overwhelming. It’s ugly and vulgar and mean. It weighs on and discourages even the most positive of those among us. As Christians, I think we sometimes tell ourselves it’s not okay to feel this way, thus introducing what we often view as another negative emotion, guilt, into our already, let’s just name it, “crappy” attitude. Why do we do this? As I sit here and reflect on my terrible day, why is it that I am more inclined to tell myself how I should be feeling instead of just allowing myself to feel what I actually feel? Did God not say He knows our feelings and thoughts even before we do? Am I forgetting that the Son of God came down in human flesh? Surely in His short time on Earth even Jesus must have felt discouraged, overwhelmed, upset, and just overall “crappy” at least once. Even He without sin is allowed to have a rough day now and then! Okay, maybe He didn’t, but still…God created the world, and I have to imagine He of all people would know how difficult it is to live in at times.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of always trying to make myself or someone else “feel better.” I think it’s time to honor our feelings! Am I suggesting we all wallow in self-pity? Absolutely not. What I am suggesting is we take a minute to “breathe it in” every once in a while. Take the time to evaluate how we are feeling…really feeling…then do what my mentor once suggested: “Just name it, claim what you can do, and then all that you are unsure about, dump it into Jesus’ lap. He cares for you; Cast all your cares on Him.” Amen!

Today I had to scramble around trying to finish a project I should have been working on months ago. Because I chose to procrastinate, I ended up frustrating and inconveniencing myself and others in my attempt to meet my deadline. I am disappointed because I failed at my task, and discouraged because it is still going to be hanging over my head as I enter the New Year. I am naming my failure, disappointment, and discouragement. There is little I can do about my unfinished project, but what I can do is learn from this experience and try better next time. I’m unsure about my future, my vocational calling, and more pressingly, what impact not finishing the assignment is going to have, but I’m giving that fear and doubt and worry to Jesus. I’ll leave you with one final thought as I move forward, putting today’s mistakes behind me…”It’s not for me.  It’s not about me.  If it’s not for me or about me then it has to be for and about God.  If it’s for God and about God, then it must be God working THROUGH me.”  This is going to be my new mantra as I enter the New Year.  What will yours be?

My Top Ten Ways to Achieve a Peaceful, Drama-Free Existence

Earlier in the year, I was going through a metamorphosis of sorts. I took a long hard look at my life, and to be quite frank, I didn’t like what I saw. I realized my life was full of junk…relationship woes, work worries, financial stressors, image issues….the list went on and on. All of these things were bombarding me daily and getting in the way of what I knew really mattered, but they all seemed too big to deal with head on. I decided I would make a list of ten manageable ways I could reduce my stress and drama to ultimately improve my life. I printed it out, put it in places I would see almost constantly, and told my family and friends so they would hold me accountable. Below is the list that helped me to change my life:

1. Stop drinking so much. Limit to beer only, no more than one time per week. NO MORE JAGER!!!
2. Go to Mom’s house for dinner once a week.
3. Go to church at least twice a month.
4. Exercise at least three times a week for one hour per day.
5. Go back on the carb diet, but stop weighing myself on a daily basis. THROW AWAY THE SCALE!!!
6. Limit eating out to once per week to save money and facilitate dieting.
7. Commit 1-2 hours per day to school (homework, reading, studying, etc.)
8. Pay off all debt except school loans and mortgage. GET RID OF CREDIT CARDS!!!
9. Build up savings. Goal is to have $5,000 by my birthday next year.
10. Get to work before 8:30. Start waking up at 7 and only hitting snooze once.

Now, I’m not suggesting this list will work for everyone, but what I am suggesting is this: As the New Year is approaching, don’t make some silly resolution. Instead, define clear, manageable steps in which to address your stressors head on. While I haven’t exactly thrown away my scale or managed to save $5K yet, I have seen a drastic improvement in my stress level and found a much-needed calm and peace in my life. My financial worries have disappeared, my relationship with my family improved, my conversations with God have deepened, and I could go on and on. What I learned from doing this is I can sit around all day and point fingers at things in my life that I wish could be different, but until I am actually willing to name them and find practical solutions to instigate change, I will continue to live in fear, disorder, and chaos. My wish for you in this New Year is you will do the work necessary to change your life; Redefine your character and rewrite your story. After all, it really is never too late to change.

Top Ten Books to Read in 2010

As we get ever closer to wrapping up another year (man, what a year it has been!), I am beginning to prepare for the new one at hand.  I figured this is the perfect time to pick up some books that have been collecting dust on my book shelf and start deciding what I want to read in 2010.  Here is what I have so far (in no particular order):

1. Let You Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker J. Palmer – While the book is only a mere 109 pages, I have my doubts that this book is going to be anything of a “quick read” as the dust jacket summarizes it as “a compassionate and compelling meditation on discovering your path in life.”  Palmer is a Quaker and has been named one of the thirty most influential leaders in higher education.

2.  Becoming Who You Are: Insights on the True Self from Thomas Merton and Other Saints by James Martin, SJ — Another meditation, but this time on the idea of finding your “true self.” Fr. Martin is a Jesuit priest and associate editor of America, a national Catholic magazine.

3. The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life by Bruce Wilkinson — “An oldie, but a goody” as my grandma would say.  I read this back in college, but wasn’t really where I needed to be in life to appreciate it. 

4. Discover the Joy of Being the Person God Made You To Be by Joyce Meyer — I found this book in a tote in my garage as I was looking for something else.  The quote on the back startled and surprised me: ”You will never sense fulfillment in life unless you reach the goal of being yourself.”

5. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge — What intrigued me with this book was the title more than anything.  If I am a woman, should I really have to spend $14.99 on a book explaining how a woman feels?  Then the realization hit me:  Most gender-biased books are written with the opposite sex in mind.  What I mean by this is most books about women are written by women for men and visa versa.  A good concept that I believe has many flaws, but that conversation is neither here nor there.  I am excited to read this one and expect it to be interesting as well as challenging.

6. The Purpose Driven Life:  What on Earth am I Here For? by Rick Warren – I have heard from many people that this is an amazing book, but yet none of them have seemed to have actually read it themselves.  Not sure why this is, but I’m going to give it a go.  I’m not really all that excited about reading this one.  To be honest, it just looks boring to me.

7. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay — This book takes a holistic approach to healing anything that could possibly ail someone, A-Z, and when I say anything, I mean it literally.  From faith and forgiveness to fungus and flatulence (not kidding…look in the index!), Hay, a metaphysical lecturer and teacher, has an affirmation for it.  This not a book I would typically pick up at the bookstore, however, it was recommended to me by a close friend whose opinion I value greatly. I am looking forward to exploring this book and seeing how it speaks to my life.

8.  Find Your Strongest Life:  What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently by Marcus Buckingham – A friend of mine read and reviewed this book as a Thomas-Nelson book reviewer blogger.  As a woman working in the corporate sector, I thought it sounded intriguing, especially after taking the accompanying quiz.  Check out his review on his blog, Another Startup.  Pretty interesting since it is a book written for women, by a man, then read and reviewed by a man.

9. Where is God?: Finding His Presence, Purpose and Power in Difficult Times by Dr. John Townsend — I recently signed up to be a book reviewer for Thomas-Nelson as well (yay for free books!) and this was my first pick.  I haven’t received it yet, so I don’t have any first impressions.  All I know about it is it poses the question, “Where is God when things in life seem to be going badly.”  We’ve all been there, and we will all be there again at some point in time more than likely, so I assume it will be at least a decent reminder that when we feel God is now longer walking beside us, it is at those moments, he is actually carrying us.

10. Who Moved My Cheese?: An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson, M.D. — Let’s face it, we’ve all at some point been disappointed with our jobs and felt discouraged that we were never going to reach the proverbial ”cheese” at the end of the maze.  I’m looking forward this one.  It looks short and sweet and to the point…a charactertic that is rarely found in a book on management methods.

From Fear to Djembe: How I Began to Write a Better Story

People who know me would agree I used to rarely take risks.  I am an accountant and my life has been reflective of that…I am extremely organized, my decisions well calculated, and I have a tendency to over-analyze everything!  As with mathematical equations, I looked at most things in life as black or white, right or wrong, and there was little to no room for failure.  You can probably imagine what this outlook has done for my stress level!  I never really meant to develop this kind of view, but fear of disappointment and failure landed me here.  It wasn’t until I read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller, that I realized there was actually anything I could do about it.  I always just kind of shrugged it off as “how I am made up.”  Miller’s book spoke a new truth I hadn’t before considered:  You have the power to rewrite who you are.  You can create and start living a better story.

This thought of living a “better story” really hit home for me.  I was in a transition period in my life where I felt I was going through an emotional and spiritual growth spurt so-to-say.  I had been questioning who I was and searching for purpose for some time before the book came into my life.  The truth of the matter was this:  1. I did not like who I had become,  2. I wanted to create positive change in my life, and 3. I was too paralyzed with fear of failure, rejection, and disappointment to really do anything about it.  Donald Miller’s book spoke to all these areas and encouraged me to not only accept fear, but to fabulously embrace it, reminding me “we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to changed us.”

So what did I do?  I got roommate.  I adopted a dog.  I bought a djembe.  In short, I started writing a better story.  As I scripted out how I wanted my story to be, I began to realize that not only was my story changing, but also my character was as well.  I laughed more.  I prayed harder.  I found encouragement from learning from my failures instead of disappointment from making them.  I realized I didn’t need a list to tell me how to “create a drama-free, peaceful existence.”  What I really needed was faith, courage, and a friendly reminder that it’s never too late to change.   

When I began living each day with intention, I began to see so many amazing changes in my life.  I found healing in, and understanding of, past wounds that had previously left me jaded, immobile, and broken.  I found comfort in my own skin and joy in the freedom of being me…beautiful, creative, loving, passionate, and fabulous me!  I yearn for new experiences, new challenges, where I previously cowered.  I may still be an accountant, but I would venture to guess if you would ask those same people who used to say I never took risks what they think now, well most of them would laugh…oh, and probably ask you to tell me to stop playing my drum so loudly…I chose to rewrite my story.  Will you?